I’m writing this from my childhood home, where I’ve traveled to celebrate Thanksgiving with my folks. The meal, as always, was a feast: turkey, dressing, mashed potatoes, yams (with brown sugar and pecans), wheat salad, and the ever-popular pumpkin pie for dessert. And, as always, I appreciated it. As much as I love cooking, I don’t prepare food as much as I’d like. Cooking for one is sort of like writing love sonnets and hiding them (unread) in a drawer. It might be good practice, but in the end it sort of feels like a waste of time. As a result, I’m always happy to come home and have the chance to sous-chef under my mom, who remains one of the best cooks that I’ve ever met.
As much as I’m grateful for the food, though, what I’m really celebrating is my life and the people who helped make me who I am. Not long ago, I told a potential romantic interest that I wasn’t interested in a fling because I have too much love to give (… because I knew that I’d get too attached… that I’d care too much). This is true. It is also something that I credit to my family.
Growing up, I never doubted the love that my parents felt for me or for each other… They are the model that I aspire to in my relationships and in my day-to-day interactions. They showed me how to care for life and how to be engaged in the world; they encouraged my creativity and artistic expression; they showered me (and my bros) with care and affection; they taught me what was important and what wasn’t (people vs. things, in case you weren’t sure).
Describing the path of moral cultivation, Mencius (a follower of Confucius) said:
Among babes in arms there is none that does not know how to love its parents. When they grow older, there is none that does not know to respect its elder brother. Treating one’s parents as parents is benevolence [ren]. Respecting one’s elders is righteousness [yi]. There is nothing else to do but extend these to the world (Mencius 7A:15).
I want to make the world a better place. I want people to be happy. I have a lot of love to give. And I owe it to my family.
For this, I am thankful.
